there but by grace go I

I was awoken at 1:30am by four fire trucks and three ambulances surrounding my apartment. I live on a corner with lovely east and south facing windows.
A true selling point of this apartment when I first saw it.  These windows could be mine, I thought.

I also sleep with them open as much as I can. The fire trucks basically were inside my apartment.

Flying down the stairs, I see that the building four down from me is on fire.
Smoke.
Flames.
Fear.
It all mixed into that cool air that reminds you summer is already on its way out despite it being August for two more days.

I was kind of immobilized.  Dramatic?
Do I leave my apartment?
Will this fire spread as fires in walls do and especially when home are connected in beautiful parts of this city of Philadelphia?
Oh, how fires are at the top of my list of SCARY THINGS.

Is the 4th street curse something real?
As I google furiously, I notice that firefighters had already battled a blaze earlier today within the same block vicinity.  In April, the firefighter chief tragically died in a fire that quickly licked up a fabric store and three adjoining apartments.

I went from window to window for a long time in the wee morning hours.  Watching these brave men hurry, yet methodically, to save.  Despite the loss they endured in April, they are here.  And willingly so.

I text my friend, Joy, in San Francisco, thinking this is the only time this damned three hour difference will ever come in handy.
I also flashback to 2009 when she had to literally live this nightmare.

I say, "Firefighters are kind of amazing people."

She says, "They are. They saved Cricket."

And they did.

I lay awake for most of the rest of the morning - dozing in and out of sleep - watching the lights from all of the care vehicles bounce all over the walls and ceiling.

There but by grace go I....

EXACTLY THIS.

There will be men who hurt you. 
And there will be men who make a fool of you. 
And the second is somehow far worse than the first. 
Because it is disrespectful and unkind and stitched together by small, selfish lies. 
These men—the ones that take you for a fool—these are the men more concerned with being seen as the good guy, thanactually being the good guy. 
These are the men who worship at the altar of cool and casual and isn’t-this-fun. 
The men who lack courage. 
Who say they are fearless when fear is their motivating factor.


megfee.com

The story of "Keep Calm and Carry On"

I actually couldn't be more irritated by this meme.
(An aside: Does ANYONE know how to pronounce that word?)
I hate the way it blew up and almost instantaneously became lame.
And then when I watched the story of its origin, I got even more bummed about how it got carried away.
Regardless.  I'm a sucker for anything World War II related.

http://www.wimp.com/keepcalm/

Also, I would very much like to visit Barter Books in the northeast corner of England, as a matter of fact.

pieces

“You will never be completely at home again, 

because part of your heart always will be elsewhere. 

That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.” 

—Miriam Adeney

You.

My wounds are no longer fresh. 

But I can still look at you and think:

 ‘you are the worst person who ever happened to me. no one else has ever treated me as badly as you did.’