Friday, December 20, 2013

excerpt from a drunken love note; part 2

You wouldn't: but if you were to put it to me -- I bet I would fall at your feet. It doesn't serve anybody to let me get away with it. 

Monday, I tried to say a lot of things to my shrink. 49 minutes later maybe I had said a thing or two. Then said that I was grateful for you and all you've been for me and I got all fucky. 

I'm in so much trouble tomorrow but I'm just gonna run with it now to say thanks. I want to be as good to you as you are to me.. xx 

Letting go

Let go of all thoughts that don't make you feel empowered and strong.
Let go of feeling guilty for doing what you truly want to do.
Let go of the fear of the unknown; take one small step and watch the path reveal itself.
Let go of regrets; at one point in your life, that “whatever” was exactly what you wanted.
Let go of worrying; worrying is like praying for what you don’t want.
Let go of blaming anyone for anything; be accountable for your own life. If you don’t like something, you have two choices, accept it or change it.
Let go of thinking you are damaged; you matter, and the world needs you just as you are.
Let go of thinking your dreams are not important; always follow your heart.
Let go of being the “go-to person” for everyone, all the time; stop blowing yourself off and take care of yourself first … because you matter.
Let go of thinking everyone else is happier, more successful or better off than you. You are right where you need to be. Your journey is unfolding perfectly for you.
Let go of thinking there's a right and wrong way to do things or to see the world. Enjoy the contrast and celebrate the diversity and richness of life.
Let go of cheating on your future with your past. It’s time to move on and tell a new story.
Let go of thinking you are not where you should be. You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go.
Let go of anger toward ex lovers and family. We all deserve happiness and love; just because it is over doesn’t mean the love was wrong.
Let go of the need to do more and be more; for today, you've done the best you can, and that's enough.
Let go of thinking you have to know how to make it happen; we learn the way on the way.
Let go of trying to save or change people. Everyone has her own path, and the best thing you can do is work on yourself and stop focusing on others.
Let go of trying to fit in and be accepted by everyone. Your uniqueness is what makes you outstanding.
Let go of self-hate. You are not the shape of your body or the number on the scale. Who you are matters, and the world needs you as you are. Celebrate you.


If you don’t feel strong right now, that’s okay. Don’t pursue strength; pursue healing. Because your strength is in your healing.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

dear human

dear human,
you’ve got it all wrong. you didn’t come here to master unconditional love. that is where you came from and where you’ll return.
you came here to learn personal love.
universal love.
messy love.
sweaty love.
crazy love.
broken love.
whole love.
infused with divinity. lived through the grace of stumbling. demonstrated through the beauty of messing up. often.
you didn’t come here to be perfect. you already are.
you came here to be gorgeously human. flawed and fabulous. and then to rise again into remembering.
but unconditional love? stop telling that story.
love, in truth, doesn’t need any other adjectives. it doesn’t require modifiers. it doesn’t require the condition of perfection.
it only asks that you show up. and do your best. that you stay present and feel fully. that you shine and fly and laugh and cry and hurt and heal and fall and get back up and play and work and live and die as you.
it’s enough. it’s plenty.

Monday, December 16, 2013

i love you

People say I love you all the time - when they say, ‘take an umbrella, it’s raining,’ or ‘hurry back,’ or even ‘watch out, you’ll break your neck.’ There are hundreds of ways of wording it - you just have to listen for it, my dear.

Saturday, December 14, 2013


For our hearts are not pure; our hearts are filled with need and greed as much as with love and grace; and we wrestle with our hearts all the time. The wrestling is who we are. How we wrestle is who we are. What we want to be is never what we are. Not yet. Maybe that’s why we have these relentless engines in our chests, driving us toward what we might be.  | Brian Doyle

Sunday, December 8, 2013

an excerpt from a drunken love note

This morning I woke one does.

You were next to me.

There was light to see, but it was mostly grey. There were sounds to hear, but it was mostly quiet....It felt early.

In summer, light precedes day; the sounds follow.  In winter: immersed in blackness, it starts alone.  Sound and light: one has a sense of when mixture has been

Lights, commotion, awareness: it's time to get up.

It felt like it was maybe time to get up...I laid there looking and listening.  There were colors....and noises...I turned to you.

You were had been with me all night and yet you looked like you had just you had come from afar and collapsed next to me. 

I let you be...I had my morning.

You woke up and you apologized.  

I told you I was just doing what I would have been doing anyway, but that was a lie....I knew it as soon as I said it.  It would not have been the same.  Having you there, my morning felt different than 'my' usual morning.  It felt peaceful and free.  I liked knowing you were there.  I drank coffee and read my book and cut the top off that Mr. Brown can.  I was doing what I might have been doing anyway, but it felt different.

Friday, December 6, 2013

best argument to date

"My body, my choice" only makes sense when someone else’s life isn’t at stake.
Fun fact: If my younger sister was in a car accident and desperately needed a blood transfusion to live, and I was the only person on Earth who could donate blood to save her, and even though donating blood is a relatively easy, safe, and quick procedure no one can force me to give blood. Yes, even to save the life of a fully grown person, it would be ILLEGAL to FORCE me to donate blood if I didn’t want to.
See, we have this concept called “bodily autonomy.” It’s this….cultural notion that a person’s control over their own body is above all important and must not be infringed upon. 
Like, we can’t even take LIFE SAVING organs from CORPSES unless the person whose corpse it is gave consent before their death. Even corpses get bodily autonomy. 
To tell people that they MUST sacrifice their bodily autonomy for 9 months against their will in an incredibly expensive, invasive, difficult process to save what YOU view as another human life (a debatable claim in the early stages of pregnancy when the VAST majority of abortions are performed) is desperately unethical. You can’t even ask people to sacrifice bodily autonomy to give up organs they aren’t using anymore after they have died. 
You’re asking people who can become pregnant to accept less bodily autonomy than we grant to dead bodies.