Friday, June 1, 2007

bitch session.

and it's my blog. so i can if i wanna.

and so we've begun summer in philadelphia. filthadelphia. whathaveyou. I HATE THIS CITY IN THE SUMMER! like, i'm so fucking hot and cranky all the time. i don't understand those people that bask in heat. you know, being all glowy and breezy and shit. i'm just hot and fat and sweaty. it reminds me of an animal. or what an animal must feel like. there's nothing attractive about it. this is why i don't understand how people live in areas that are warm all the time. i need cold weather, sweatshirts, north face fleeces and jeans that i can fit into b/c i haven't expanded from the heat enough to not be able to zip them up. what i wouldn't give for a god damn boat. or a roofdeck pool. hell, i'll even take a ceiling fan. last summer i snuck into that Sheraton roofdeck pool on average twice a week. often with beer. they kicked us out. i'm banking on the fact that they won't remember us this year. otherwise i'm going big and hitting up a hilton in center city.

also, i went to look at my new apartment today and i decided i need to paint. but i have like 16 foot ceilings. (that's a lie. that's a completely arbitrary number b/c i'm not good with estimating things like height. in any case, they're high ceilings.) the brownstone itself is haunted too i think. it's straight out of the Adams Family. Or an abandoned church. and it tilts. heavily. and i have no furniture. and i have to pack up my entire apartment and move it.

also, some fucking talentless, self-promoting thug once again put a flyer on my car window. which was soaked by last night's thunderstorm and is now stuck to my car. thanks. i really appreciate that. i also appreciate the $100 car inspection that i had to pass today to make sure my car is environmentally sound. soooooo, south philly can have trash everywhere on the street, we can be at 98 degrees on June 1st, but let's all take really special energy to charge me $100 so that my SUV is meeting its standards in emissions. Go U.S. of A. I'm fucking moving to Canada.

and i have to work tonight. and it's hot. and i have to put on jeans and t-shirt. can someone please tell me WHY it's necessary to so heavily enforce a dress code that is so confining. it's summer. i want to wear a shirt with no sleeves. and preferably something that will not cover my legs. i'm profusely sweating as i write this. i'm the jew-iest non-jew i've ever known. i refuse to turn on the air. and i'm aware that i could stop my own bitching. it's not the point. and there's also no point to this blog. except that i'm bitching.
now i'm going to stand in the sun and wait for the bus and I swear to fucking god and every other fucking douchebag that has contributed to insane global warming, if someone rubs up against me, brushes by me or so much as looks like they're going to touch me, i'm going to vom. preferably on them.

have a good one!

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