People don't know how to love.
They bite rather than kiss.
They slap rather than stroke.
Maybe it's because they recognize how easy it is for love to go bad, to become suddenly impossible... unworkable, an exercise of futility.
So they avoid it and seek solace in angst, and fear, and aggression, which are always there and readily available.
Or maybe sometimes... they just don't have all the facts.
Anger and resentment can stop you in your tracks. That's what I know now.
It needs nothing to burn but the air and the life that it swallows and smothers.
It's real, though - the fury, even when it isn't. It can change you... turn you... mold you and shape you into something you're not.
The only upside to anger, then... is the person you become.
Hopefully someone that wakes up one day and realizes they're not afraid to take the journey, someone that knows that the truth is, at best, a partially told story.
That anger, like growth, comes in spurts and fits, and in its wake, leaves a new chance at acceptance, and the promise of calm.
Friday, February 1, 2008
I'm voting for the schizo on my corner...
I am worried that Hil won't win the nomination. And I really don't like Barack.
I was all excited about him and he's been a major letdown. I think he's figured out the ways in which to be the "cool liberal", but it just feels like such fluff. I just have this horrible image of him winning the whole damn thing and then being like..."Wait, what? Uhhhhh..."
Yeah, you fucking jackass....you actually have to have EX.PER.I.ENCE. And no, the Kennedys won't come help you now. Neither will Oprah. Because she's stupid.
There have been things that Hil has done that have put me off -- the war in Iraq, No Child Left Behind Act, etc., but there is a certain sense of genuine belief in our country and hope for it to be better again, and I mean who the hell has any hope in America anymore? Come on, you know everyone is secretly plotting to move to Canada. Well, except for those fucking rednecks and I'm sure Ryan Seacrest.
The fucking debate the other night really pissed me off with Obama using Bill's decision as something Hilary did. And when Hilary said that she was standing there and not her husband, that little catty attack of, "Well I can't remember who I'm running against sometimes".
Poor little John Edwards, "Hey guys...aren't there three people in this debate, not two?"
And now he's pulled out of the race. Great. So NOW, everyone's going to vote for Barack (because that's what Oprah told them to do), he's going to become the Democratic candidate and when it comes down to the real damn thing, we're going to be stuck back in Republican hell all over again because there's no way the fucking douche from Middle America is voting for a black dude, much less someone named BARACK OBAMA. "Oh hi, my name is Barack Obama and I'm the President of the United States of America. No, the USA. No, really, AMERICA!" Please. As if the US will ever become progressive enough to not pull the gender/race card every damn time.
This is all getting super annoying.
And I just can't regain my original excitement/respect for Obama after the whole Oprah thing. You know how much I loathe her presence.
Also, I think Hilary's tears were for real. But whether they were or not, it's fucking annoying that she's fucking criticized for being "too tough", then fucking blasted for shedding a tear. God forbid.
Whatever.
I hope everyone enjoys Mike Huckabee. Or should I say President Huckabee.
Hope you never get AIDS, pronounce your atheism or come out of the closet. He kills people like you. That's right....pro-life, pro death penalty. And no, I don't believe he sees a contradiction there.
I was all excited about him and he's been a major letdown. I think he's figured out the ways in which to be the "cool liberal", but it just feels like such fluff. I just have this horrible image of him winning the whole damn thing and then being like..."Wait, what? Uhhhhh..."
Yeah, you fucking jackass....you actually have to have EX.PER.I.ENCE. And no, the Kennedys won't come help you now. Neither will Oprah. Because she's stupid.
There have been things that Hil has done that have put me off -- the war in Iraq, No Child Left Behind Act, etc., but there is a certain sense of genuine belief in our country and hope for it to be better again, and I mean who the hell has any hope in America anymore? Come on, you know everyone is secretly plotting to move to Canada. Well, except for those fucking rednecks and I'm sure Ryan Seacrest.
The fucking debate the other night really pissed me off with Obama using Bill's decision as something Hilary did. And when Hilary said that she was standing there and not her husband, that little catty attack of, "Well I can't remember who I'm running against sometimes".
Poor little John Edwards, "Hey guys...aren't there three people in this debate, not two?"
And now he's pulled out of the race. Great. So NOW, everyone's going to vote for Barack (because that's what Oprah told them to do), he's going to become the Democratic candidate and when it comes down to the real damn thing, we're going to be stuck back in Republican hell all over again because there's no way the fucking douche from Middle America is voting for a black dude, much less someone named BARACK OBAMA. "Oh hi, my name is Barack Obama and I'm the President of the United States of America. No, the USA. No, really, AMERICA!" Please. As if the US will ever become progressive enough to not pull the gender/race card every damn time.
This is all getting super annoying.
And I just can't regain my original excitement/respect for Obama after the whole Oprah thing. You know how much I loathe her presence.
Also, I think Hilary's tears were for real. But whether they were or not, it's fucking annoying that she's fucking criticized for being "too tough", then fucking blasted for shedding a tear. God forbid.
Whatever.
I hope everyone enjoys Mike Huckabee. Or should I say President Huckabee.
Hope you never get AIDS, pronounce your atheism or come out of the closet. He kills people like you. That's right....pro-life, pro death penalty. And no, I don't believe he sees a contradiction there.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Its okay to make mistakes
Mel - I miss you. so much, its semi-not funny. also, a word to all: its okay to make mistakes. and i dont just say this because i'm on my fourth glass of wine...but I've recently made several - without realizing it - and have since found myself in a shitty situation.
Suffice it to say, i confused my need for a socal vacation with a desire to move back here (to southern california), and promptly started living alone. dont get me wrong - my beachfront apartment is amazing - but theres no one here to share it with (more on this later, mel). anyways, I'm trying to get back east to my friends, and thank GOD ive got this blog to lean on.
...that said: NICOLE RITCHIE WAS IN JAIL FOR ONLY 84 MINUTES? what the FUCK?!?!! its about time i started driving the wrong way on freeways.
Also: brangelina: I'm officially over them (more later). Shes so pathetically hetero-boring I want to cut myself to stay awake while reading her blog coverage...and brad's just lame.
Lastly: never underestimate the importance of friends. It's funny...I moved to Philly without knowing a soul...and when I moved away 4 months ago - I felt like I was leaving my world behind. Since then, I've spent the last 3 months of my life trying to get back. Thank god for Mel. And joey. And Mike, Nick, Kyle...screw it: thank god for Stoli. And heres to the start of a promising future of wittier, more on-point blogs for our adoring public. now excuse me, but I've got to go vomit.
Suffice it to say, i confused my need for a socal vacation with a desire to move back here (to southern california), and promptly started living alone. dont get me wrong - my beachfront apartment is amazing - but theres no one here to share it with (more on this later, mel). anyways, I'm trying to get back east to my friends, and thank GOD ive got this blog to lean on.
...that said: NICOLE RITCHIE WAS IN JAIL FOR ONLY 84 MINUTES? what the FUCK?!?!! its about time i started driving the wrong way on freeways.
Also: brangelina: I'm officially over them (more later). Shes so pathetically hetero-boring I want to cut myself to stay awake while reading her blog coverage...and brad's just lame.
Lastly: never underestimate the importance of friends. It's funny...I moved to Philly without knowing a soul...and when I moved away 4 months ago - I felt like I was leaving my world behind. Since then, I've spent the last 3 months of my life trying to get back. Thank god for Mel. And joey. And Mike, Nick, Kyle...screw it: thank god for Stoli. And heres to the start of a promising future of wittier, more on-point blogs for our adoring public. now excuse me, but I've got to go vomit.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
.......
1. strength
2. comfort
3. beauty
4. benevolence
5. vulnerability
6. independence
7. admiration
8. self-doubt
9. rare
10. makes me want to be a better person
2. comfort
3. beauty
4. benevolence
5. vulnerability
6. independence
7. admiration
8. self-doubt
9. rare
10. makes me want to be a better person
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