chronic fatigue syndrome...also known as whining.

i think i have chronic fatigue syndrome. i'm really not kidding. it's like everyday is such a fucking struggle to get out of bed. and as i was laying on my couch yesterday with my sweatshirt riding up my stomach, but having absolutely no energy to SIT UP and push it down, i really began to wonder how it is that people have kids and families and come home after work and don't seriously kill them. then i started to get a little claustrophobic and overwhelmed thinking about having kids and that woke me up. i don't even do work at my table anymore...i just bring the computer right to the couch and lay down. i'm also at work for like 10 hours a day and i mean that just fucking blows. i thank god (wherever/whoever she is) for getting it together enough to make sure there was a dunkin donuts in the lobby of my new office building. (would have been better if it was a starbucks, but small trife, small trife). i'm down there about four times in any given work day. i should just learn how to start speaking mandarin chinese because at this rate the counter guy and i are becoming fast BFF. i'm just so tired...seriously. and the fact that i'm looking outside right now and it's dark and i have to shower and get on the disgusting 17 bus crowded with that wonderful mixture of homegrown philly folk with their 17 children (each)and the corps (not like 'core' but like short for corporates...you know, douchbaggerie, morally bankrupt douchbags)and trek to the office is daunting. who outlawed sweatpants to work? seriously. yesterday i came up with a fabulous idea that our agency should have a couch room with candles and music and a huge lock on the door so everyone gets 20 minutes allotted in any work day where they can take a nap, stare at a wall, and just not be bothered by any fucking person needing their services. i mean we already have two couch rooms that we use for group..it's all ready! think of the increase in productivity levels. i don't know what to tell you...sometimes these amazing ideas just roll right out of me. and then on top of all of this, to compensate for how tired we are, my friend/co-worker decides she'll go home everyday and bake things. hence the homemade brownies made from scratch...that i ate four of yesterday. personally, i think she's just trying to sabotage my win for Marathon's Biggest Loser. but that's a whole other post for a whole other day when i can actually open my eyes more than halfway and not drink 3 cups of coffee by 7am. fuck, i'm tired. maybe i need to start exercising...

yeah i needed about .003 seconds to gasp and retract that statement.